當(dāng)女友和狗不可兼得：美國(guó)男子登廣告為女友找下家

Forced to choose between his pet dog and his girlfriend, one man decided the best way to find his friend a new home was to post an advert online.
因被迫在女友和寵物狗之間做出選擇，一名男子決定在網(wǎng)上刊登廣告給女友找下家。

Entitled 'Free to any willing home', the Craigslist ad describes the best and worse traits of his companion in a bid to best match her with a new owner.
這則刊登在Craigslist的廣告標(biāo)題為“免費(fèi)送給任何愿意收養(yǎng)的家庭”，其中描述了他的伴侶的優(yōu)點(diǎn)和缺點(diǎn)，以期為她找到最合適的新主人。

Following his lengthy farewell, the advert's real message is revealed at the end.
在一整篇戀戀不舍的文字之后，這則廣告的真實(shí)意圖才顯現(xiàn)出來(lái)。

Not mincing his words, the man denounces his partner - describing her as a 'selfish, wicked, gold-digging girlfriend' and asks for her to be quickly re-homed.
該男子很直白地對(duì)女友進(jìn)行討伐，稱她是“自私、邪惡、拜金的女友”，并且希望她盡快被人領(lǐng)走。

In the opening line of the message, the man, who lives in the city of Roanoke, Virginia, outlines how his girlfriend does not like his pet dog Molly, before explaining a bit about her.
該男子家住弗吉尼亞州的羅阿諾克市，他在廣告的開頭簡(jiǎn)要說(shuō)了一下他的女友有多不喜歡他的寵物狗莫莉，之后也對(duì)女友稍事介紹。

The advertisement which includes an adorable photo of Molly the beagle, goes through all her attributes in a frank manner.
廣告中附有一張莫莉可愛的照片，同時(shí)也坦白列出了她的習(xí)性。

'She is a purebred from a wealthy area and I have had her 4 years,' it states. 'She likes to play games. Not totally trained.'
“她是來(lái)自富人區(qū)的純種犬，已經(jīng)跟我4年了。她喜歡玩游戲，沒受過(guò)訓(xùn)練。”

'Has long hair so she's a little high maintenance, especially the nails, but she loves having them done.'
“因?yàn)槊l(fā)較長(zhǎng)，所以有點(diǎn)難伺候，尤其是指甲，不過(guò)她很喜歡修指甲。”

The man even admits how she 'stays up all night yapping but sleeps while I work'.
該男子甚至指出，莫莉“整宿整宿地叫喚，然后在我工作的時(shí)候呼呼大睡。”

He goes on to highlight more of her positive characteristics as well as the potential problems she might bring to her new owners.
接著，他還重點(diǎn)列出的莫莉的優(yōu)點(diǎn)和可能會(huì)為新主人家里帶來(lái)的問(wèn)題。

'Only eats the best, most expensive food. Will NEVER greet you at the door after a long day or give you unconditional love when you're down. Does not bite but she can be mean as hell!'
“她只吃最好、最貴的食品。當(dāng)我結(jié)束一天的工作回到家后她從來(lái)不會(huì)跑到門口來(lái)迎接，我心情不爽時(shí)她也不會(huì)給我關(guān)愛。她不咬人但脾氣極壞！”

After all the description, the man's real message comes to fruition in the final sentence - revealing his decision to say goodbye to his girlfriend rather than his faithful hound.
在所有這些描述之后，該男子的真實(shí)意圖終于顯現(xiàn)，他決定拋棄女友，與忠實(shí)的汪星人朋友相伴。

He ends with: 'Come and get her! Me and my dog want her re-homed ASAP!!'
廣告的結(jié)尾時(shí)這樣的：“快來(lái)把她領(lǐng)走！我和我的狗狗希望她盡快找到下家！”

It remains to be seen how the girlfriend reacted to the news but at least Molly will be relieved to hear that she remains the man's best friend.
目前尚不知道該男子的女友會(huì)對(duì)這則廣告作何反應(yīng)，不過(guò)最起碼寵物狗莫莉能夠長(zhǎng)舒一口氣了。

Vocabulary:

denounce: 譴責(zé)，指責(zé)

gold-digging: 拜金的

yap: 狂吠

fruition: 實(shí)現(xiàn)

英文來(lái)源：每日郵報(bào)

譯者：高晴

審校：馬文英

編輯：左卓

（中國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)網(wǎng)英語(yǔ)點(diǎn)津）