‘Solo economy’: Being alone, not lonely

What’s weird about dining in a nice restaurant with only you? By yourself, solo, uno, unaccompanied, solitary — or the dreaded — lone which morphs into lonely.

In The Lonely Guy, Steve Martin enters a busy restaurant. When he’s asked by the ma?tre d’ restaurant, “how many?”, he replies, “one.” All the diners stop talking and stare at him as the spotlight follows his walk from the door to a table.

Welcome to the millennial/Gen Z “me” world or “me-lennials”. More and more people are now eating alone, traveling alone and living alone, not because society is broken, but because they have discovered something truly magical: being with other people can be tiring. Maybe people nowadays prefer dining with a person who never asks off-beat questions or competes with your real loyal friend: your smartphone.

In reality after an exhausting day at work conciliating and collaborating, some people prefer dining alone. It’s relaxing. You are waited on — no stress, no cooking, no clean up at home. You feel like royalty. Yes, millennials and Gen Z are driving the growth of solo dining, according to surveys, restaurant owners and industry observers. Social media is an easy source for people to find restaurants perfect for that solo experience, and demographics have bolstered the trend.

It’s not much of a stretch to have a nice dinner out for one. We love to go a fast casual restaurant for a workday lunch by ourselves and for an easy dinner. A toe-in-the-water step could be sitting down at a communal table or bar for lunch or dinner.

Dining trends reflect bigger shifts in how people live and what they need. Solo dining isn’t about rejecting company; it’s about having the flexibility to enjoy time alone when you want it. Surveys show that consumers’ attitude toward dining alone have changed. According to a survey of 1,200 consumers by market research firm Mintel, about 60 percent of the respondents said they felt comfortable eating alone at a casual dining restaurant. An OpenTable survey showed “me time” as the top reason people dined solo. Grandma’s terrific lemon chicken would be even better without grandma hovering nearby.

Savvy restaurants are catering to this changing scene. Restaurants have become aware that the most perishable thing in the business is the seat. If you don’t sell it at that mealtime, it’ll go bad. Seats are packaged as tables. Some places like the Smith restaurants in New York City, Chicago and Washington have an abundance of seats at communal tables, bars and sit-down bar rails. Restaurants may offer special menus at bars or communal seating. Some studies indicate that solo diners may spend more per person than diners in groups, making them a valuable customer segment.

Then there’s traveling solo. Historically, this was the realm of weird alien backpackers wearing torn Beatles T-shirts, and mind-bending seekers on retreats in Fiji. Today, it’s common. People travel solo because they have finally realized travelers never agree on what to do and when. Do we really need to spend an entire day driving four hours to follow penguins as they mate? It’s something viral from an Instagram reel.

And, traveling alone is not waiting to get into the bathroom. If you wake up nauseous from last night’s spicy shrimp sushi, you can blame nobody but yourself, which is really refreshing.

Travel operators are seeing an increasing number of single travelers, especially women. Hence, they’re offering special tour and cruise packages. Last year, an estimated 50 percent of Americans planned to travel solo, 84 percent of them being women. About 72 percent of women in the United States have gone on a solo vacation. Solo travel has also seen a tenfold increase in the last three years. Interestingly many of the single travelers are married but want to take a vacation alone.

And let’s not forget the big one — living alone. Once seen as sad, rebellious or odd, it’s now a luxury. Living alone means total control over your world. No roommates who think a clean kitchen is only for Gordon Ramsay fans.

Of course, there are downsides. Alexa and Siri are not dateable. Breakfast cereal is only for one meal a day at most. But you’re happy. Mostly.

What’s going on here?

Relationships and dating are complicated and expensive. The world is expensive, and inflation hasn’t helped. Dates are swipes with more options than streaming TV, commitments competing with websites and virtual relationships.

Technology has become the fabric of social life. You can video call friends, order food and binge-watch 12 hours of old TV comedies without leaving your sofa. Who needs friends?

It’s that “me” culture. Are you married friends really all that happy? Yikes! Look at your parents’ marriage!

Ok, maybe they are happy in a distinct way. The rise in solo living isn’t just about avoiding; it’s being ourselves. It’s about knowing that a Friday night alone isn’t sad. That eating alone doesn’t mean being lonely.

In short, being alone today doesn’t mean you’ve been left behind. It means you’ve arrived … to your one-bedroom apartment with perfect lighting and zero unsolicited small talk. Honestly, that’s living the dream. It’s about knowing that sometimes you can treat yourself to a moment of calm, free from small talk. And whether it’s solo or with others, that’s something worth celebrating.

The author is an adjunct assistant professor of Business at Management Division, Columbia Business School.

The views don’t necessarily reflect those of China Daily.