Planned Children's Commission must look to parent education

Chief Secretary for Administration Matthew Cheung Kin-chung indicated in his blog that a Children's Commission will be established next year, and he will chair that commission. The aim is to coordinate all the relevant bureaus and work with all organizations in civil society that are concerned about child development and children's welfare, to deal with all the problems that may arise as Hong Kong's children grow up.

This long-awaited decision by the special administrative region government is most welcome. A Children's Commission will go hand in hand with the opening of the Hong Kong Children's Hospital in Kai Tak to mark, for the first time in Hong Kong's history, a significant turn in public policy. In Hong Kong we have the Elderly Commission, the Women's Commission, the Commission on Youth and a Family Council but not a Children's Commission. It might be tempting for policymakers to think that, if the elderly, our young, our women and our families are all taken care of, there would be no need for a separate children's commission. Unfortunately, the needs of our children are routinely ignored or neglected notwithstanding the setting up of the Family Council 10 years ago. In particular, there has been no official recognition of the importance of parenting education.

There was indeed a mention about "Parent Education - Parenting Stress" under the Pilot Scheme on Thematic Sponsorship to Support Family-related Initiatives (2017-18). This is part of a two-year pilot scheme, launched in 2016-17, "to provide one-off sponsorship to support non-profit-making and worthwhile family-related initiatives, which are able to meet the objectives of raising community awareness of family core values and the importance of families; creating and promoting a pro-family environment; and promoting family well-being". But even the wording about the scheme and the motivation - in particular "one-off sponsorship" and the fact that the government was funding only a "pilot scheme" - are sufficient to show the half-hearted nature of the initiative. Unfortunately, within the walls of what children call "home", parents often become antagonistic toward each other. They do not realize that such antagonism within the home can do untold damage to the development of children. The tragic aspect of this is that parents may share a concern for the welfare of the children. They just do not realize that when they quarrel or fight, children suffer.

Today many parents are confused over what they should do when children "misbehave". The most common complaint these days is that they spend too much time playing video games. Other complaints include not showing an interest in studies, not practicing enough on a musical instrument which they are supposed to learn to play, showing disrespect for their parents. Still other complaints may involve unfair treatment by teachers, bullying by schoolmates, too much or too little homework from school, etc.

The fact of the matter is that most parents know very little about parenting. This gave rise to the phenomenon of "monster parents", who unknowingly put pressures on children, who want to carve out a path for their children against their wish or choice, who teach one thing verbally but teach another thing by example, who are overly protective to the extent of denying their children the opportunity to learn by making mistakes. Parenting is an art that young parents have never learnt at school but parents have little choice except learning on the job.

I would strongly recommend that the Children's Commission take promoting parenting education as the most important task it must take up. Promoting parenting education must not be left to NGOs depending on some one-off seed money to take up. The reason we need a Children's Commission is that very young children are at the mercy of their parents in their formative years, and they must take physical or mental abuses passively. After the harm is done, to undo the harm is very difficult and very costly. The research conducted by scholars such as Nobel Laureate James Heckman has made it clear that investing in the formative years of children brings huge returns. But we have been extremely stingy with financing parenting education.

Actually I believe parenting education should begin early, and it should be included in the Personal Development and Interpersonal Relationships module of Liberal Studies. Better still, it should be part of a "life education curriculum" in all our secondary schools. Introducing parenting education into the school curriculum when our children transition into their teens will prove very helpful to their parents. It will prompt them to consider their parents' perspective, and will likely soften tensions between children and parents that tend to develop during these years. Moreover, teenagers will become adults and many will become parents before long.

Several groups concerned about children's rights had suggested the commission should be given a large enough budget to ensure it can help with the development and protection of children, especially those who are vulnerable. But it should be noted that some harms done to children are unintended. Parenting education will greatly reduce these unintended harms, and will contribute toward family harmony, which is indispensable if children are to grow up healthy and happy.

(HK Edition 11/14/2017 page8)