Romance in the air with calling cards

[Photo/Courtesy of Alan Mays]

With gentle humour and directness, this romantic icebreaker was quite attractive to young women. Men would present a card with a cheeky message, such as "I am Sam Kahn. Who the devil are you?" Or he might just get straight to the point, asking "May I C U Home?" For those less restrained by convention, he might have put those heart-melting words in poetic form. "My heart to you is given / Oh! Do give yours to me / We’ll lock them up together / And throw away the key." Or, perhaps you’d prefer the more suggestive approach: "Come and see our new lamp – you can turn it down so low that there is scarcely any light at all."

Interesting courtship rituals aren't restricted to Victorian couples, either. In the 17th century, a Welshman would hand-carve a wooden spoon (called a "lovespoon") as a sign of affection for his potential bride; the woman would wear the spoon around her neck if she felt the same way. In 19th-century rural Austria, young women would perform a ritual dance with apple slices lodged in their armpits – after the dance, she would give a slice to the man of her choice and, if interested in her, he would eat it.

Even today, a variety of intriguing customs continue in Asia. For example, in southwest China, young singles of the Dai ethnic minority gather by the village bonfire at night; the men each choose a woman to serenade and, if she’s impressed, the woman will pull a small seat out from under her billowing skirt and invite him to sit down. And in one rural village in northwest Cambodia, the unmarried teenage daughters of the Kreung tribe are encouraged to explore sex with a variety of partners as they search for true love – in a "love hut" built by their parents behind their house.

While nowadays it seems the size of your bouquet or the value of your Valentine's Day gift is all that matters, it certainly seems trite compared to those old-fashioned rituals. These fascinating customs laid the foundation for today's romance – and some of them are still going strong.