Bittersweet halves face crisis of identity

Many governments provide unemployment allowances to trailing military spouses and agencies such as the United Nations to civilian spouses. Employees at multinationals tend to receive housing or children's education benefits but little is known of corporate monetary aid to trailing spouses.

The diplomatic community, a top transferee sector comes with its own dynamics, where spouses are governed by laws in most countries that either bar them from working or limit their employment to teaching at largely embassy-run schools.

Although research shows more women than men are likely to tail partners abroad, cultural differences can create a gendered outlook when reversed.

"Chinese women have a different understanding of gender roles than Western women," says a 55-year-old American from Shanghai.

The former political analyst in the United States, known as an avid concertgoer to his friends in China, came here about two years ago when his Chinese wife found a job with a Western company.

He loves music and cooking for his wife in equal measure, but his non-working status has at times been a source of tension between them, he adds.

The challenges faced by a trailing spouse or partner (in countries that recognize unmarried companions) can vary widely. It is a complex topic that can't be painted in a single brushstroke.

But the question of identity haunts trailing spouses everywhere.