Time to accept I'm forever a foreigner in Zhengzhou

It's strange how I can be aware of how far behind China's first-tier cities Henan's provincial capital Zhengzhou is, yet still remain desensitized to the fact. I know it has nowhere near the variety of restaurants and products as places like Shanghai and Beijing - I have friends in these cities who tease me to that effect.

But with every addition to the city, it's easy to start thinking, "Great, we're on our way now!" The longer I stay away from larger cities, the more I think only in terms of Zhengzhou.

This is why it's jarring to step outside of Henan province to more developed pastures. In the past year I've visited Beijing and Hong Kong, and each trip destroyed any notion that Zhengzhou would be like such cities in the far-foreseeable future. They're worlds apart.

In Zhengzhou, every new fast food chain that opens is an event for the foreign community - chains are what bring expanded variety. Compare this to the dense collection of privately owned international fare in Beijing's Sanlitun area alone (Vietnamese, Italian, Mexican - you name it, it's there), and you begin to accept that the two cities aren't on the same page.

Were it only restaurant numbers, this wouldn't warrant much comment - obviously China's mega cities are going to have more of everything than places like Zhengzhou. What is more revealing is the openness of the people to new ideas and new things.

The foreign community's beloved Thai Restaurant, opened by a Taiwan woman and a Thai chef, has struggled to find a following among Zhengzhou natives. I've been eating inside and watched through the window as people viewed it with caution and confusion. They ultimately balk after studying the menu and realizing they'd rather play it safe with Chinese food.

I once hypothetically asked one of my English classes what food from anywhere in the world they would try if they could, and the majority responded with Chinese noodles.

Even the idea of having foreigners in their city seems to be taking forever to fully sink in. I've been here approaching three years now, and I have seen the foreign population grow, yet it's still impossible to take a walk without becoming an object of interest.

Half of the time, it's a hail of awkward "hellos" and giggles from people who don't want to talk so much as impress their friends with how quick thinking and clever they are. The rest of the time it's people pointing and saying in hushed tones, "laowai!" - as if we're items on some endless scavenger hunt.

After staying long enough in Zhengzhou, it's easy to start thinking this is typical behavior for all Chinese people - a stubborn adherence to only things they know and an alarming level of amusement at the mere existence of people from outside of the country.

Then I go to a more developed city and my mind is blown, even if I've already experienced this before.

It can be tough readjusting to Henan after such trips. I'm confronted full-force once again with the fact that I am truly a foreigner in a foreign land.

But then I head home, make dinner from my surprisingly expansive pantry, call friends and watch new episodes of HBO shows while drinking ridiculously cheap beers. This tends to help start the whole process of forgetting about the big cities all over again.

Now if only Zhengzhou had a Subway sandwich shop ...