Waiting to nurture my Chinese gandie

These grand gestures aroused a nearly equal sense of joy and bafflement. Why was he doing this?

The reason he gave the crowd: "I really like him." But many people like one another and never opt to cultivate surrogate family ties.

He stressed this was a serious relationship that extended far beyond friendship. And he proved it the next day when travel arrangements back to Beijing from Hunan hit a snag. He got on the phone and, through a lot of finagling, arranged for drivers, a hotel and a train ticket.

Along the way, Zhang made sure there were meetings with the ganma (godmother) and little brother - also of no blood relation to Zhang.

But after returning to Beijing, the five Ws about this relationship remained as befuddling as ever.

It seems this is merely an extreme example of what can epitomize the real relationships in China, especially those between foreigners and locals.

Compared to associations solely among Westerners - strongly influenced by individualism and similar cultural identities - those shared by Chinese and foreigners are often characterized by a deeper level of commitment based on a shallower level of familiarity. The people in these relationships might know less about - but certainly are more committed to -- each other, compared to most foreigner-to-foreigner, especially Westerner-to-Westerner, ties.

Many foreigners here are willing to make greater sacrifices in terms of money, time and convenience for their Chinese friends than for foreign friends, whom they might be more intimate with. That's because these Chinese friends would do the same for them - and nearly always do, usually on a sweeping scale scarcely imaginable among foreigners.

And as the relationship deepens, so does this commitment.

In addition to the fact that we've known each other for only a short time, Mr Zhang doesn't speak any English and I speak Chinese like a small child.

But as our communication abilities improve and time brings us closer together, the depth of our commitment to the relationship will grow, too.

And because of the way made-in-China relationships work, I'm eagerly awaiting that.