Men's fashion mags have no connection with the real world

I am honored to have become a "fashion consultant" for a 40-something man who is well built except for a slight tummy. I see him as a kind of "fashionable old scholar". I take the job of choosing clothes for him rather seriously, as this tells me a lot about 40-plus Chinese men.

At their age, they have been "poisoned" by fashion trends such as green army uniforms and blue police uniforms. Even without any idea of real fashion, they now find themselves in times when everyone is expected to dress in style.

Some of them are clearly at a loss and give up trying to fit in by grabbing whatever clothes they can find. But my new client is different. He represents the few "uncles" who have realized that if they dress inappropriately, they'd be condemned by society.

My first piece of advice to him was to read the four "great classics" of men's fashion: Esquire, GQ, FHM and Sports Illustrated.

I knew how risky this could be. In early 2000, a survey in North America showed that after staring at the models in these four magazines for 30 seconds, 16 men displayed obvious symptoms of depression and a strong will to increase their own "muscle index" by an average of 30 pounds.

After all, men do not like seeing stronger guys, even though many women enjoy pictures of female beauties.

However, my worries were swept away after one glance at today's magazines. All the bony male models are lauded as a "size 0" - meaning that back at school, such boys would have been fixed up by bullies every day.

It all began around 2000 with Dior Homme, when suddenly everyone realized that beefy models just didn't work. To catch the attention of shoppers and to persuade them to open their wallets, they had to create skin-tight clothes and put them on skinny men - the kind likely to be blown away by a strong breeze.

As I tried to find a suitable idol for my client, I ran into a big problem: There didn't seem to be any super male model. I flicked through a pile of magazines and didn't recognize a familiar face. There was absolutely no gossip about the 24 hours of a male model's day.

Barneys, a famous man's brand, even dressed its own tailors and accountants in their latest clothes, possibly to accommodate their customers' abhorrence of male models.

But I did find some names, such as Marcus Schenkenberg, Jason Lewis or Mark Vanderloo. However, if you know all these names, congratulations! You are either a professional in the fashion world or are truly unique.

I did not want to let my honored title of "fashion consultant" go to waste, but I had to admit that the world of men's clothes was totally fictional - it was not meant for anyone in the real world.

Exulting over this discovery, I was ready to give my disciple another lecture. But he ran to me and said with confidence: "I don't think I can wear Dior Homme. But at least I can try Raf Simons."

(China Daily 10/15/2008 page20)