Entering into marriage with your eyes closed

I came across this on the news recently: A Canadian girl found her love by kissing the first guy who got on board the bus after she accepted the bet of her friends.

Well, it was on a bus that I too ended my search for a life partner, but in a very different way.

When I met him, I had just finished a hectic round of dating arranged by well-meaning friends and family. He later told me that he too was looking for a breakthrough in his search for Cupid's arrow.

I was 30, leaving my family desperate to end what they saw as my sad, single life. I didn't have the heart to refuse them when they came up with yet another name for a date.

But dating can be such a tedious business. I remember the times I had to eat under the hard stare of people who came nowhere near my expectations. This time, I was determined to avoid such embarrassment. Using mobile messages, I suggested that we meet at the library. I said I needed some reference books but actually craved the comfort of a pile of books in the midst of which, I knew, I wouldn't have to meet his eyes, if he turned out to be yet another Mr Wrong.

He agreed, saying that he had never been to that library before. (He later confessed he had but thought the idea was a novel one.)

Maybe our frequent exchange of messages had helped ease the formality between us. We murmured over the books, trying to learn more about one another. Our conversations gradually became natural, and I felt comfortable.

It was noon when I found the books I wanted. We went for a quick lunch and I soon felt the familiar post-lunch sleepiness come over me.

Should I ignore it for the man I had just met? No way, I decided.

We headed home. The bus felt like a rocking chair, lulling me into a nap, to be awakened only by the attendant's announcement.

"Fell asleep?" he asked as we got off. "I was just napping," I said, but couldn't help blushing.

We became closer in the days to come and finally got married.

"Did you really think I fulfilled all your requirements on the very first day you met me?" I probed one day.

"Do you want to hear the truth?" he asked.

"Of course."

"Well, it was because of the 'nap' you took," he began. Seeing me raise my fists, he quickly explained that on all his previous dates, the women had taken an instant liking to him.

Of course, he liked the idea of being pursued. So he was surprised that I could have fallen asleep in his company.

"You challenged my confidence. I had to prove my charisma," he said.

So, to all those waiting for your Mr Right, fret not. He could well be the person sitting by your side while you are napping.

(China Daily 03/25/2008 page20)