Curse of the wedding invitation

Believe it or not, most of my married Chinese friends admit that the happiest moments on their wedding days are neither putting on a magnificent wedding gown, nor giving a passionate kiss to the bridegroom in front of hundreds of guests. It is about counting cash gifts on their wedding bed!

According to the custom, a guest is supposed to give hongbao (red bag with a certain amount of cash) as a wedding present.

Compared with Western people who pick up a gift from a wedding list offered by the newlyweds, Chinese people seem more pragmatic in this regard as money can buy whatever the couple wants. Some even become rich after they receive their hongbao - a special bonus to their love!

In general, the sum of fortune depends on how close the guest is to the bride or bridegroom, ranging from at least 200 yuan ($26) to several thousand. But only even numbers are allowed, which is meant to bless the couple with double happiness.

Spring and autumn are considered as golden seasons for people to get married.

However, I always become nervous of receiving a wedding invitation, as it seems more like a penalty notice than just a red paper-card, especially since my budget is tight.

I painfully remember when my cousin got married a few years ago, I gave him a big hongbao with 2,880 yuan ($380).

It might sound ridiculous to hand out my one-month salary for someone's wedding, but I had no choice because we are close relatives.

Not surprisingly, I lost my appetite that day, while other guests sat round the tables eating with joy. I just could not help counting how many people's meals I had paid for via my expensive "gift". It seemed like they were not eating food but my dreamed Benetton bags or fancy Zara suit.

On the other hand, a wedding dinner normally is not as substantial as it is supposed to be due to a huge number of guests.

Often I still feel starved after those big dinners, and have to rush to the KFC or just grab a chocolate bar from a supermarket to end the miserable day, imagining how my friends are busy opening hongbao one by one in their bridal chambers, with a broad grin from ear to ear.

I never expect my married friends to show their sympathy to my fiscal loss, as they would just suggest that I should get married as soon as possible, and get my money back.

But this advice didn't seem to comfort my friend Wu.

She looked a bit depressed after receiving an invitation for a wedding next month.

I then said that the fortune she had given would be paid back eventually.

"I don't think so," she said, with a painful expression on her face, as if she was suffering from annoying toothache.

"It is my friend's second wedding in the past three years, and I haven't got married once," she sighed.

(China Daily 09/13/2007 page20)