I did not use a wallet before I went to college and used to stuff all my change into pockets. We Northeasterners put everything into big pockets, a habit that elders say we borrowed from Russians.
Once a beautiful lady took me out for dinner. When she took out her purse to pay the bill, I noticed it stood a full 20 centimeters thick. Wow! See how much money she carried! Strangely, there was not much cash inside. Instead, there were cards of many kinds. "You have 20 cards? Does China have that many banks?" I pondered.
In my mind, only banks were authorized to issue cards.
"My ICB card, my CMB card, my card for haircut discounts, for health club, for utility, and my bus pass"
The only card she did not have was an American Greencard.
Years later, I took on the same habit. One day a service lady called me and, in her sweet voice, cajoled: "You have earned the eligibility to have a VIP card with China Immobile."
"Another card? What for?" I asked.
She ran down a list of 10,000 benefits. "Does it include not charging for incoming calls?"
"Sorry, no."
I went downstairs to have a haircut. The hairdresser asked: "What do you do for a living?"
"What does it have to do with you?" I thought.
"I take care of gorillas in the zoo," I said.
"That's interesting," she said.
"Yes, and I don't need a discount card."
She didn't say another word, however I found my hair was cut shorter on one side.
Pretty soon I received a call from my bank: "Sir, your deposit with us has reached one billion Euros, so we have decided to give you a VIP card. With that card, you no longer need to stand in line for service."
That'll be a blessing in a business of high inefficiency.
With pervasive consumerism, the plastic card has become a way of life but us human beings tend to ignore the side effects after we stumble upon a good idea. Hence we are being inundated by many too cards.
I counted my cards one day and found I had collected almost 20. I wondered how many my lady friend had accumulated. What would she do if her purse exploded?
Given the trend, there'll be a time when we have no more space to put our cards. I have a solution: Why can't we weave hundreds of cards into a suit of armor similar to what those generals wear in soap operas?
Our ancestors used to wear tree leaves, and being more civilized, we can clothe ourselves with cards. A card frock can be cool in the summer and emit a rustling sound when you move.
By that time, you can gauge a person's social status by the kind of cards and number of cards that drape him. Card fashion will create a garment revolution.
Editor's note: In 1995, Lizzy Gardiner wore an outfit made of 254 American Express Gold Cards when she won the 67th Oscar for Best Costume Design for The Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert.
The dress was auctioned off in 1999 for $12,650 for charity.
(China Daily 04/17/2007 page20)
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