One question that never starts fights

Chi fan le ma (have you eaten?) is what many Chinese ask after saying ni hao and is one of the most civilized and meaningful small-talk topics ever developed. Opinions about food, no matter who you are, are always interesting and they never start fights.

Money, religion and politics have long been taboo topics of conversation in many circles of society because they are considered too personal and often cause division. Boasting about your appreciating property value is not appreciated by renters and pontificating about a particular political viewpoint can polarize a party.

In 2007, money, religion and politics are probably the most talked about subjects on the World Wide Web and are not ignored in China by a long shot.

I'm often asked: "How much do you make?" and it halts me in my tracks. I don't feel comfortable about sharing my gross monthly worth so I used to make up a figure, which was high enough to be realistic for a foreigner. My lie never worked.

My alleged salary was always dismissed with a "Bu shi (no way). You get more than that!" I now shrug my shoulders and jokingly answer: "Never enough."

This quip seems to be the universally accepted answer for all workers, even the super rich like me, ha. US billionaire JD Rockefeller was once asked how much was enough. His response: A little bit more.

Chinese often ask about my religion. My friend Qing Ma says all foreigners are Christians, aren't they? In the West, when someone probes about religion, it's often the lead-up to an ear bashing. The inquisitor only wants to know my viewpoint on God, the universe and everything, so they can tell me how I've got it wrong. What they don't understand is their opinion about me is none of my business.

My Chinese friends who ask about spirituality really don't care what I believe. They are just curious. According to them, everything is everybody's business.

I tell them my philosophy. Love many, trust few and paddle your own canoe.

"But what's a canoe?" they ask.

Politics? Some people are Left wing and others are Right wing. I am more of a chilli chicken wing guy myself, which leads me to my favorite talking point. Have you eaten yet?

Food, glorious food. I love chewing the fat on this tasty topic. When I first started working in a Chinese office, I really wanted to know what everybody was talking about besides work. Last night's TV show? Juicy gossip about Gong Li? Maybe Yao Ming's last NBL game? I later discovered they were talking mostly about food. How long do you marinate an egg plant? The correct salt measure for boiling rice? And have you eaten yet?

The expression chi fan le ma, is very easy to remember, if you use my little trick. Remember that really catchy Seasame Street song Manamana?

The only words are ma na ma na du du de du-du. Replace ma na ma na with chi fan le ma, and you'll always have something interesting in Chinese to say. Chi fan le ma du du de du-du.

I'm going to pitch my song to the Olympic Games organizers. What a great anthem for the opening ceremony, with Gong Li and Yao Ming leading the parade!

On that note, I've got to go. My chilli chicken wings are getting cold.

(China Daily 01/24/2007 page20)