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Humor Joke 幽默笑話

中國日報網英語點津為您精選語言地道的英語笑話，開心學英語。

幸運的貓

2011-09-28 12:43
"Father," said Jim, running into the drawing-room, "there's a big black cat in the dining-room." "Never mind, Jimmy," said his father drowsily, "black cats are lucky."

我也是

2011-09-26 11:09
A fat lady walked into the dress shop. "I'd like to see a dress that would fit me," she told the clerk.

聰明的馬

2011-09-21 09:56
There was a farmer who fell and broke his hip while he was plowing, and his horse immediately galloped five miles to the nearest town and returned, carrying a doctor on his back.

買帽子

2011-09-15 09:04
A lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one.

給艾伯特的字典

2011-09-14 10:28
Albert is someone who does not know the meaning of impossible task, who does not know the meaning of lunch break, who does not understand the meaning of the word no.

星星意味著什么

2011-09-13 10:16
Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

2011-09-08 10:30
Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, "Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand."

瘋狂的司機

2011-09-07 11:30
There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!"

結婚禮物感謝信

2011-09-02 11:35
We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. Because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher.

如何辨別毒蘑菇

2011-09-01 14:00
Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool?

插在何處

2011-08-30 09:51
One day, she took a plug and said to her son, "Look, there are two pieces of copper, so it must be plugged in a place where there are two holes. Where do you think it should be plugged?"

每天一種烤肉

2011-08-29 10:30
"What's wrong with Willow Farm ?" his friend asked him. "Didn't you enjoy country life?" "Country life was fine," Alan said. "But there was another problem."

農民和妻子

2011-08-25 11:11
On a rural road a state trooper pulled a farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"

我不想爭論

2011-08-23 10:43
"Gerald," asked the teacher, "what is the shape of the earth?" "It's round," answered Gerald. "How do you know it's round?" continued the teacher.

纏住不放

2011-08-19 10:28
Returning from a golf outing, my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter: "Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?"

偉大的獵手

2011-08-18 09:24
In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

醫生，有人在我床底下

2011-08-17 11:04
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!"

盲人與導盲犬

2011-08-16 09:06
A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"

不要相信醉漢說的話

2011-08-11 10:54
Wife: Dear, you looked quite drunk last night and you kept repeating the same thing at the table. Husband: Really? Then don't believe anything said by a drunken person. By the way, what did I say to you?

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