Research on what makes a marriage work shows that people in a good marriage have completed these psychological "tasks": 關于“是什么使婚姻美滿”的研究表明，那些擁有幸福婚姻的人們往往已經完成了這些心理“任務”。

1 Separate emotionally from the family you grew up in; not to the point of estrangement, but enough so that your identity is separate from that of your parents and siblings.在感情上與你成長的家庭分開；不要到產生隔閡的地步，但要足以使你的身份獨立于你的父母和兄弟姐妹。

2 Build togetherness based on a shared intimacy and identity, while at the same time set boundaries to protect each partner's autonomy.在相互的親昵和一致的基礎上建立歸屬感，但同時也要設定一些界限來保障每一個成員的自主權。

3 Establish a rich and pleasurable sexual relationship and protect it from the intrusions of the workplace and family obligations.建立一種豐富而又愉快的性關系，并保護其免受繁雜工作和家庭義務的干擾。

4 For couples with children, embrace the daunting roles of parenthood and absorb the impact of a baby's entrance into the marriage. Learn to continue the work of protecting the privacy of you and your spouse as a couple.對于有孩子的夫妻，坦然地接受父母這樣的嚴峻角色，消化掉因寶寶的出現而對婚姻生活造成的影響。夫妻雙方還要學會繼續保護自己和配偶的隱私。

5 Confront and master the inevitable crises of life.共同面對和掌控生活中不可避免的危機。

6 Maintain the strength of the marital bond in the face of adversity. The marriage should be a safe haven in which partners are able to express their differences, anger and conflict.在面對逆境時保持婚姻關系的穩定。婚姻應當是一個安全的港灣，在這里夫妻之間可以表達他們的不同觀點、忿怒和沖突。

7 Use humor and laughter to keep things in perspective and to avoid boredom and isolation.通過幽默和笑聲來對待事情，避免厭倦和孤立。

8 Nurture and comfort each other, satisfying each partner's needs for dependency and offering continuing encouragement and support.扶持和安慰彼此，滿足彼此依戀的需求，并提供持續性的鼓勵和支持。

9 Keep alive the early romantic, idealized images of falling in love, while facing the sober realities of the changes wrought by time.隨著時間的流逝，即使面對理性的現實，也要保持年輕時候一顆浪漫的心和墜入愛河時美好的憧憬。

（來源：網絡 英語點津Jennifer編輯）

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