Theo Walcott scored three goals for England but annoyed his mum

In this week’s Off the Pitch we take a look at some of the funniest quotes from 2008 – see if you find them amusing too.

Steve McClaren, the English manager of a Dutch team, demonstrated his mastery of logic 邏輯 and language when he spoke before his team’s match against Arsenal in the Champions League.

"It will be a once-in-a-lifetime experience that doesn’t come along that often," said McClaren, ex-England manager and master of the obvious.

Wigan’s manager Steve Bruce’s use of metaphorical language 比喻性的語言 left us with a rather nasty image in our minds after his team were soundly beaten 3-0 by Arsenal.

"They’ve kicked our backsides 臀部," said Bruce, "now we have got to lick our wounds 傷處."

Another disappointed boss, Doncaster’s Sean O’Driscoll, was left looking for a way to vent his frustration 發泄他的挫敗感 after his team lost a game.

"I’d go home and kick the cat if I could – but I haven’t got one," said O’Driscoll.

Manchester United player Rio Ferdinand proved he wasn’t quite sure of the expression ‘take on the mantle’ 擔任領導角色, which means to take on the responsibility of being leader.

"Gary Neville is the club captain but has been injured for the best part of a year now - and Giggsy's taken on the mantelpiece 壁爐臺," said Rio, forgetting that a mantelpiece is actually a feature of a fireplace.

How did they do that?  Man City have scored in all of their home wins this year.   Rob Hawthorne, Sky TV

But it is not only the footballers and managers who make verbal gaffes 過失，丑態, sports commentators 評論員 are also more than capable of making the occasional howler 滑稽可笑的錯誤.

Rob Hawthorne of Sky TV proved his understanding of how football works when he spoke of Manchester City’s method of winning games.

"Man City have scored in all of their home wins this year," said Hawthorne, presumably forgetting how difficult it would be to win a game without scoring goals.

And BBC pundit 評論家 Martin Keown was clearly confused between prescription 處方and subscription 訂閱 when he said that pay-per-view broadcaster "Sky gets its money from prescription payers". Are they broadcasters or chemists, Martin?

But the last word goes to the mother of Theo Walcott, the 19-year-old England player who scored three goals in an international match against Croatia, but forgot an important item when he left England.

"He rang me before he got on the plane to tell me he didn't have a key, so I waited up for him," said Mrs Walcott.