研究：禮物和恭維都沒有用 勇敢對抗才能搞定丈母娘

If your future mother-in-law thinks you’re not suitable for her darling son or daughter, don’t shower her with gifts and compliments – stand up to her instead.
如果你的未來岳母或婆婆認為，你不適合她的寶貝女兒或兒子，別給她獻一堆禮物和恭維之辭，而要與她對抗。

Scientists have found that the best way to win over future in-laws is to take an assertive approach and directly persuade them you will make your intended spouse happy.
如今科學家發(fā)現(xiàn)，贏得未來岳母或婆婆信任的最佳方式是，表現(xiàn)出自信，直接說服他們，你會讓你的意中人過得幸福。

It may seem counter-intuitive, but this tactic – dubbed the ‘I am right for your child’ approach – helped win over doubting fathers and mothers, a study found.
這看起來似乎與直覺相悖，但研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，這一被稱為“我最適合你的孩子”的策略，幫助許多人贏得了持疑父母的信任。

The worst strategy was to avoid dealing with the in-laws yourself and instead to ask your sweetheart to lobby on your behalf.
最差的策略是，避免與岳父母或公婆交談，而讓你的伴侶代表你去游說。

The researchers dubbed this tactic the ‘tell them I’m good’ method.
研究者稱這種策略為“告訴他們我很優(yōu)秀”策略。

And despite the traditional view of the judgmental mother-in-law, the study found that it may actually be easier to win over mothers than fathers.
與認為岳母和婆婆很挑剔的傳統(tǒng)觀念不同，研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，實際上贏得岳母/婆婆的信任比贏得岳父/公公的信任容易。

In his research paper, Professor Menelaos Apostolou said that children frequently choose mates who do not appeal to their parents.
在此研究報告中，邁內(nèi)勞斯·阿珀斯特魯教授稱，孩子們時常選擇不受家長喜歡的對象。

For instance, they may fall for individuals who are physically attractive, while their parents are more concerned with social standing and family background.
例如，他們會愛上一些外貌較好的人，但家長更關(guān)心社會地位和家庭背景。

The study of 738 Greek-Cypriots identified approaches that were most likely to be used to win over in-laws, which Professor Apostolou grouped into seven tactics.
對738位希臘裔塞浦路斯人進行的研究，確定了最常用于說服岳父母/公婆的方法，阿珀斯特魯教授將其歸為七種策略。

First was the ‘I am right for your child’ tactic, in which suitors demonstrate to the prospective parents-in-law how good they are as mates for their children.
首先是“我最適合你的孩子”策略。追求者向未來岳父母/公婆展示，自己是多么適合做他們孩子的伴侶。

Following this came the ‘I do not deserve this!’ strategy, in which they demonstrate to their mate’s parents that they do not warrant their rejection.
接下來是“我不接受！”策略。追求者會向伴侶父母表現(xiàn)出，自己不接受他們的反對。

Third most common was the ‘Why don’t you like me?’ approach, in which suitors try to determine why the parents disapprove and try to change their minds.
最常見的第三種是“你為什么不喜歡我？”策略。追求者試圖判斷家長為什么反對，并試圖改變他們的想法。

Other tactics include ‘No confrontation’ and ‘You have to accept the situation!’ in which they can threaten the parents by suggesting they risk never seeing their grandchildren.
其他策略包括“不準反對”和“你得接受現(xiàn)實！”。追求者可威脅對方父母，暗示他們有可能見不到他們的孫兒。

There was also the ‘Approach’ strategy, in which lovers try to grow closer to the in-laws by inviting them for dinner and buying gifts.
還有“接近”策略。追求者通過邀請岳父母/公婆共進晚餐和給他們送禮物，試圖拉近與他們的距離。

Finally there is the ‘Tell them I am good’ tactic in which the partner is drafted in to persuade their own parents of their lover’s virtues.
最后是“告訴他們我很優(yōu)秀”策略。此種方法中，伴侶被拉進來游說自己的父母，告訴他們自己對象的優(yōu)秀品質(zhì)。

The ‘I am right for your child’ and ‘No confrontation’ tactics were the favourites whereas ‘a(chǎn)pproach’ and ‘Tell them I am good!’ were least likely to be successful.
“我最適合你的孩子”和“不準反對”策略是最推薦的，而“接近”和“告訴他們我很優(yōu)秀！”成功率最低。

Vocabulary

draft: 選派；抽調(diào)；征用

英文來源：每日郵報
譯者：李天
審校&編輯：丹妮