中華民族是一個崇尚"禮尚往來"的民族。拜訪長者，我們可以帶去一些營養品；給新婚夫婦包紅包，一句關系親疏里面有幾十元至幾千元現金......有時送禮花太多錢是犯忌的，也有時候"一點兒小意思"又不夠，但不論接收禮物的人是誰，在什么場合下送禮，多花些時間仔細挑選禮物都是不枉費的。

一個適當的禮物，如果送的方法不對，也可能讓你惹上麻煩。了解不同文化的送禮禮節是很重要的。在下面的對話里，一個初來中國的外國朋友在送禮上就碰到了點"小麻煩。

A: This is the first time I've been in China, and everything here fascinated me. But there is something I can never figure out!

B: What's wrong? Did anything puzzle you, speak it up and see if I can help you out.

A: Good! You turn up so timely! I am just expecting some good explanation. You know the other day one of my Chinese friends was celebrating his birthday so I asked him what he would like for a birthday present. Do you know what he said? "No, no! Don't give me anything. Don't be polite!" can you believe it?

B: Actually, I can well believe it. It's a Chinese way of expressing his being humble and reserved. But most often the speaker doesn't really mean refusal unless he firmly insists. Chinese people don't easily accept the given things only when he has contributed to the giver or there is an intimacy. And they don't want their friends "pofei" which means to spend money.

A: What did he mean by refusing to accept a present from me then?

B: I don't think he was actually refusing to accept a present from you. It was just his way of being "polite". He didn't mean to be rude and certainly he didn't mean to offend you.

A: Well, how do you like that? And what was I supposed to do or say in such a situation?

B: You should first understand that Chinese people are not straightforward in some situation. In such a situation I suggest you just insist, and if your friend is an elderly gentleman, you probably have to insist several times, but even then I doubt if he will ever give you a direct answer. Or you can buy him a gift directly without asking him. I think he will be satisfied with whatever you buy him. Actually what counts is your good intention.

A: So you mean buying a gift is a good choice than not, right?

B: I think so.

A: Thank you.

Notes:

1. figure out. A說中國的一切都讓她感到fascinated, 感到著迷，唯獨有一件事情他想不通，他說But there is something I can never figure out!

Figure out, 想明白，弄清楚。它的英文解釋是這樣的：find the solution to (a problem or question) or understand the meaning of

我們來看更多的例句：

e.g: It didn't take the children long to figure out the correct answer.
孩子們沒有花很多時間就算出了正確的答案。

2. help you out. B很關切地詢問了對方碰上什么解不開了困惑了，要對方說出來看看我能不能幫你。Speak it up and see if I can help you out.

Help sb out 是幫助解決難題(幫助擺脫困境,幫助完成,救出)也就是help sb in a particular situation of need.

e.g: He refused to accept help out of a false sense of pride.
他由于死要面子而不肯接受幫助。　

3. A 緊接著說了，You turn up so timely. 太好了，你簡直出現得太及時了。我正想找人給我好好解釋一下呢。I am just expecting some good explanation.

4. It's a Chinese way of expressing his being humble and reserved. B聽完了讓A大惑不解的問題之后，勸他不要放在心上，因為這只是中國式的客氣和矜持。通常情況下，一個人說"不要送禮，千萬別送禮"并不是真的表示拒絕，除非他堅持不要，firmly insist not taking anything,

中國人一般給人幫過忙或者是關系親密的朋友之間才接受饋贈，unless he has contributed to the giver or there's an intimacy. 他們不想讓朋友們破費，也就是spend money on buying the gift. 花錢。Humble 謙卑的，謙恭的reserved 文靜，矜持，保守的。這是形容人的性格，它的字面意思是預定的，預留的。預定座位是reserve a seat.

5. A的疑惑澄清了，他問道what was I supposed to do or say in such a situation. 那么碰上這種情況我該怎么做呢？be supposed to do something是：該怎么做

e.g: I'm supposed to go on a diet.
我應該節食。

6. Actually what counts is your good intention. B跟A說， You should first understand that Chinese people are not straightforward in some situation. 首先要明白的是中國人在有些情況下并不是很直接的，在這種情況下你必須一再堅持，just insist，如果對方是為老先生，你還得多次堅持，you probably would have to insist several times. 或者直接買好禮物而不必問他，朋友們肯定會高興的，畢竟重要的是你的一份心意。到了我們要講的這句話，Actually what counts is your good intention. Count 在這里可不是計算或者數數的意思，我們再來看一句話：

e.g: Knowledge without common sense counts for little.
光有學問而無常識，則這種學問無甚價值。

看來，文化的差異真不可以小看，不知道有沒有收聽我們節目的外國朋友們碰到過和對話中這位朋友一樣的困惑。聽說在俄羅斯，送禮是突發其想。俄羅斯人也喜歡禮尚往來，通常禮物都是小巧而不貴的，對于外國人，俄羅斯人特別喜歡得到在自己國家沒有辦法得到而實用的東西，他們會喜歡馬鈴薯削皮器，保鮮膜和可密封的塑料袋。由于禮物通常小巧而且送禮隨意，禮物通常也沒有包裝。而在日本，他們會特別注重包裝，還會根據復雜的習俗來選擇包裝紙的顏色和種類，習俗甚至會指示包裝紙圖案的方向。接受禮物也要以雙手奉上，代表尊敬和謙卑。

如果你在各地旅行，別讓送禮的習俗絆倒你，找出你即將拜訪國家的送禮的相關習俗，用正確的方法送合適的禮物，對鞏固新的友誼很有幫助！

（來源：南方網 英語點津 Annabel 編輯）

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