Chinese banquet tips dished out by finishing school

Institute Sarita offers foreign executives lessons on how to survive business dinners

Like many foreign businesspeople in China, John Bruijnooge knows there is a lot more to a Chinese banquet than just sitting down to a nice meal.

"There are a lot of unwritten rules, many I don't know about," says the Dutchman, who as director of polycarbonate and Pacific core assets for Saudi Basic Industries Corp, regularly attends dinners with government officials and corporate partners up and down the country.

"I want to know how to behave so I can improve my relationships," he says. "I'd really regret it if I made a big mistake and damaged a relationship."

To prevent that from happening, Bruijnooge paid 2,500 yuan ($410; 358 euros) last month to take part in a one-day course at Institute Sarita, a private finishing school in Beijing.

According to founder and principal Sara Jane Ho, dozens of Western executives have turned to her school's etiquette classes to learn the art of surviving a Chinese business banquet.

Of all the customs, she says, "the way people toast each other is definitely the most confusing and yet intriguing for Westerners".

In the West, people tend to stay seated during a business dinner, often because the seating has been arranged so the right people will have the chance to converse, Ho says. But in China, as soon as the first dishes arrive on the table, people get up, take a wine glass, and walk around the room toasting other guests.

"It's very disconcerting for foreigners," she says. "They're not sure if they should be doing the same thing, who they should toast, when they should toast, and what they should say, or whether they should drink seated or standing up. It's where foreigners feel most uncomfortable.

"Chinese businesspeople are nervous about Western business lunches, but Westerners are equally nervous about Chinese business banquets."

Ho founded Institute Sarita in 2013. A former student at Institut Villa Pierrefeu, a prestigious finishing school in Switzerland, as well as Harvard Business School, she speaks five languages and has lived in as many countries.

The original aim of the school, she says, was to offer courses to the Chinese elite on international etiquette and protocol such as Western table manners, business etiquette and what to wear.

The idea of advising foreigners on Chinese dinner customs came up two years ago, when she received an e-mail from a senior executive at Cisco Systems asking for etiquette training.

"I thought it was a joke," she recalls. "So I asked her to write an essay to explain why she wanted (the training). To my surprise, it was an extremely well-written and thoughtful three-page essay. I eventually arranged five days of classes for her when she was on a business trip to Beijing." Since then, her students have come from a range of industries, including public relations, oil, gas and law. Most have been senior executives, with some in their 20s and others in their 60s.

The school has also launched an online course for busy businesspeople to purchase and digest in their spare time.

Ho, who was born and raised in Hong Kong, says she draws on her bicultural experience to make comparisons during lectures, providing similarities and differences between Chinese and Western customs.

Yet while the spirit of etiquette remains the same, she says habits and customs are constantly changing. As China has emerged as a global power, some Chinese customs have even been absorbed into international practice.

"More cosmopolitan Westerners are mastering chopsticks, and in fashion and design we're seeing more and more Chinese elements," she says. "Some expatriates are also studying Chinese philosophy, Confucianism, and the Chinese tea ceremony."

Rebecca Li, president of Institute Sarita, says there are no shortcuts in the school's teaching methods, given that a lot of time is spent taking students to banquets and other events for real-life practice.

Tyler Dimicco, development officer at the Carnegie-Tsinghua Center for Global Policy, who took the same class as Bruijnooge, says he feels that, in China, personal and business relationships are much closer than in the United States.

"I took the class mostly for the etiquette, to help with personal relationships, which I hope someday will turn into business relationships," he says.

When Institute Sarita opened, it was China's only high-end finishing school, and its courses, which can cost as much as 100,000 yuan, introduced the concept of etiquette training as a niche market.

In May, the school opened a second site in Shanghai to cater to the city's large number of Chinese and foreign executives.

"Whether you're Chinese or Western, rich or poor, you need to have good manners: To put yourself in another person's shoes and put those around you at ease," Li says. "Our goal is to help Chinese better understand the world, and better express themselves to the world. This is also what the Chinese government is advocating."

Businesswomen, and the wives and daughters of senior executives and entrepreneurs with business interests overseas, make up the majority of the school's Chinese customers, according to Li.

"As Chinese businesses are growing, they need to socialize more on an international level," she says. "Many businesswomen are presentable and good at family management, but when it comes to dealing with overseas business partners, what they do now is often far from enough. They want some training."

The school even offers courses for children and teenagers planning to study abroad.

Some male entrepreneurs have started to study Western etiquette, mainly those who are about to be promoted as a global team leader or who want take part in meetings overseas. "Most of them are sent by their companies," Li adds.

Finding enough tutors with the right qualities - a cosmopolitan background, and familiar with a broad range of areas, from dressing to table manners, art, and languages - is the school's biggest concern right now, Ho says.

Demand in China is large, and to cultivate people's awareness of etiquette, the school has started to offer two-day courses for 8,800 yuan and free taster lessons.

"Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou are our biggest markets," she says. "But in second or third-tier of cities, the markets are already ripening."

chenyingqun@chinadaily.com.cn