"I did not expect so much pressure being a father, " Ren said. Since the birth of his daughter, he has been absent from all the social gatherings he used to enjoy.
"I have to rush home right after work. I'm afraid I've been forgotten by all my friends," he said.
Ren is one of many Chinese men who feel the pressure of being a father. About 90 percent of respondents to a survey ahead of this year's Father's Day, which fell on Sunday, said being a father is "never simple".
More than 67 percent of respondents in the online survey conducted by the popular portal sohu.com said the pressure on men comes from society's heavy demands on them.
"When I was young, I strived to buy an apartment and a car so that my wife would marry me. When I finally get them all, I'm no longer young. This is what's the matter with the whole Chinese society," said a 38-year-old man, who did not want to be named.
In the survey, 45.4 percent of the respondents said money is the main criteria used to judge the achievements of a man. Nearly 20 percent chose social status, and 19.2 picked a successful career. Only 15.8 percent believed having a happy family is an accomplishment.
Moreover, more than 50 percent of people who visit psychiatrists are middle-aged men, according to statistics released by the Chinese PLA 254 Hospital.
Chinese tradition calls for the man to play the role of father, husband and filial son at the same time, which means he has to shoulder the burden of loving his children, supporting his wife and taking care of his parents, according to Sun Yanping, head of the psychiatric department at the hospital.
"In addition to the pressure at work, many men place themselves under sub-health conditions," Sun said.
While under heavy pressure, men often suffer from symptoms such as irritability, ringing in the ears, decreased mental vitality and decline of sexual desire, Sun said.
Accordingly, pressure-relieving products sold like hotcakes this Father's Day, replacing wallets, belts and shavers.
In big cities such as Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, electric neck massagers, foot massagers and herbal wine sold well. A Shandong-based online store sold out of 1,427 neck massagers in a week. Digital equipment with recreational functions was also popular for fathers.
"My father is aged, so he no longer likes fancy, useless items. I want to send him a gift that he will always use. I am also planning to spend more time with him to let him feel the warmth of family," said a man surnamed Lu.
CHINA DAILY