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Hi-tech, tradition create romance in China
(AP)
Updated: 2006-02-13 09:12 The gateway to marital bliss has a frosted glass
door emblazoned with two candy-apple red hearts and lots of computers.
Introducing the Beijing Military and Civilian Matchmaking Service, one of a
growing number of Chinese companies that are marrying high technology and
low-tech tradition to spawn romantic unions.
Romance and marriage have changed drastically in China after 25 years of
breakneck economic growth and looser social controls. In a country now wide open
to Western influences, even Valentine's Day is making inroads, with chocolates,
dinner dates, flowers and cards all becoming popular expressions of affection on
the occasion -- dubbed Qing Ren Jie, or Lovers' Day.
For centuries, families relied on village matchmakers. Then came romantic unions,
sanctioned -- and sometimes arranged -- by government companies for their
employees.
Today, the search is driven by personal choice, sped up by the convenience of
the latest technology.
''China is now free and transparent. Everyone has the freedom to find their
partner,'' said Wang Peng, a divorced 43-year-old who was making his first visit
to the Beijing service.
''Now people can meet face-to-face, talk about their feelings, exchange
ideas,'' said Wang, a businessman with carefully combed hair. ''They can find a
common language and be together.''
The first state-sponsored matchmaking agency opened in 1986. And today, more
than 20,000, private or government-supported, are registered, according to the
government's Xinhua News Agency.
Fees can run to hundreds of dollars -- a fortune in a country where the
average person earns just $1,000 a year. But money is not an obstacle, says Ren
Wen, an employee at the Beijing service.
''People are more independent. They want to think for themselves,'' she said.
''They're also more independent financially, so they have greater and higher
requirements.''
Those must-haves have expanded from good character to include good job, home
and prospects. And, unlike 30 years ago, many young people are increasingly
willing to wait for their ideal instead of jumping into marriage.
With her hair piled high, and wearing a pearl necklace and coral-red
lipstick, Ren looks like a traditional matchmaker but navigates her desktop
computer with practiced smoothness. She and her colleagues are called
''teacher'' by their customers.
''It's a good deed. I like helping people to find their mate,'' Ren said as
she clicked on her mouse to get more information for Tian Li, a 48-year-old
widow with a husky voice and a shy smile.
''I think I'm fairly attractive,'' Tian said. ''I want to see what options I
have.''
But for some parents, a low-tech approach is easier -- and harks back to the
days when they had some say in their children's lives.
In Zhongshan Park, off Tiananmen Square in the heart of Beijing, hundreds of
mothers and fathers gather twice a week for do-it-yourself matchmaking.
They bring glossy photos of smiling sons and daughters, and swap stories of
children too busy with careers to find a spouse. Some sit on the grass and set
up handwritten ads touting their children's virtues.
''You check out the potential candidates, you talk to their parents, you try
to arrange a meeting,'' said Guo Shufang, a slight, 65-year-old retired office
worker.
She has come to Beijing twice from the northeastern city of Dalian to look
for a wife for her 31-year-old son, a software engineer.
Duan Guoyi, 57, a retired construction company driver, said her efforts at
the park have yielded one or two suitors for her 28-year-old daughter, but
neither got far.
''She told me one was too fat, the other was too quiet,'' Duan said. ''She's
not worried, but I am.''
''The older you get, the harder it is,'' she said. ''The economy has changed
the way that people talk about love. Now, money, cars, homes come first.''
For Chen Yuannong, a 44-year-old office worker, career came first, but after
she was divorced, loneliness set in.
At a friend's urging, she signed up at the Beijing Military and Civilian
Matchmaking Service. She met several men within a week and later married one.
''I carried hope in my heart that I would find someone suitable,'' Chen said.
''He is a kind man. Our life is good now.''
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