'Shanghai girls' were city's first socialites

What makes a gentlewoman?

Song says people today have several misunderstandings about gentlewomen. "It's not about parties or fun. It's not about money or good looks either. I don't think Zhao Yidi (wife of General Chang Hsueh-liang) was a beauty," says Song. Being a real gentlewoman entails more than that. It is her duty to her family and society, the character she shows under extreme circumstances that make a gentlewoman."

Song used Yan Youyun as an example. When her life of affluence and her husband were taken away by war, Yan displayed great courage and tenacity.

In 1938, Yan's first husband Yang Guangsheng was appointed the consul general of China in Manila to raise a war fund among the Chinese living in Southeast Asia for the War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression (1937-1945). Yan was a great help to him. She actively participated in the campaign and organized local women to prepare first-aid kits, winter clothes and quilts for the soldiers, as written in an unpublished article by Song and Xu Jingcan, niece of Yan.

After the Pearl Harbor incident in 1941, Yang declined General MacArthur, then commander of the United States Army Forces in the Far East, when he suggested Yang to go to Australia with the US army. Instead Yang stood by his duty in Manila. He and seven other officials in the consulate were arrested and killed by the Japanese after Manila fell into Japanese hands, leaving behind eight families, most of whom were women and children.

Yan took over the responsibility of looking after them all, including her three children. The lady who had never washed a handkerchief before had to lead these families to grow their own food while constantly moving and taking refuge in air-raid shelters.

After the war, Yan settled in New York. She got a job at the Department of Protocol of the newly founded United Nations so that she could support her children. She worked at the UN for 13 years and was highly regarded by her colleagues. She also resumed her active social life.

In 1959, Yan re-married. Her new husband was diplomat Gu Weijun. In 2014, she celebrated her 109th birthday. When asked about the secret of longevity at her 100th birthday, Yan said, "Don't be caught up in the past. Spend more time thinking of how to create a better future."