"The 'old self' is not just about age. It's about the part of you that has been used up a little," she said.
She admits that for a long time, she blamed herself — for not having a better marriage, for not being more successful, for sometimes wanting to disappear for a day.
"Then one day I realized the person I'm being so harsh on is the same person who got me through all this. I should stop worrying and start loving myself," she said.
She paused, then said, "If I don't treat that person better, who will?"
"For a long time, mainstream culture was about constant 'self-upgrading'," she continued. "Study harder, work harder, optimize yourself, manage your body, manage your time, manage your emotions. But psychologically, people cannot stay in 'improvement mode' forever. Eventually, exhaustion turns into self-negotiation."
Lin describes the phrase as a sign of "emotional repositioning". "It's not depression. It's not lying flat. It's a softer form of realism — acknowledging that the self is not infinitely renewable."
In recent years, multiple consumer and lifestyle reports have pointed to a noticeable shift in young and middle-aged urban populations from "ambition-driven consumption" to "comfort-oriented consumption", from "rewarding the future self" to "compensating the exhausted self".
Sales of massage devices, sleep aids, emotional companionship products, and "small but certain happiness" items continue to rise. So do keyword searches like "healing", "relief", "slowing down", and "emotional stability".
From collecting designer toys and attending concerts to going on themed trips and immersive winter sports holidays, the idea of "putting your own happiness first" is part of many layers of consumption.
The 2025 Generation Z emotional consumption report, co-released by the Shanghai Youth & Children Research Center in November 2025, showed that emotional value is significant to today's youth.
Over 90 percent of young people recognized "emotional value" and nearly 60 percent were willing to spend money on it, according to the report.
A total of 46.8 percent of young people said emotional value is "a good remedy for relieving stress and anxiety". The report said 43.1 percent of them felt that emotional value "makes them feel needed and seen". Almost a third, 32.8 percent viewed emotional value as "a source of life energy" or a "tool for survival", while 22.8 percent said they were becoming increasingly aware of the importance of emotional value.
