Concerned parents seek to reduce influence of 'effeminate' role models

Isolation

While parents send their sons to Tang's club for a variety of reasons, some are definitely worried that their boy may be too effeminate, he said.

For many parents, "feminine men", slightly older than Tang's charges, offer a cautionary tale, because as teenagers these men shared similar experiences of being teased and ostracized by male classmates.

For example, Huang Shuyi's speech and mannerisms were mimicked in an exaggerated way by other students because he had a quiet voice and was introverted. The 26-year-old is now happily employed in the financial industry, but he remembers how helpless and isolated he felt as a teenager.

"Back then, you weren't deemed to be a man if you didn't use dirty words," he said, recalling how he became extremely sensitive to any comment about his personality and sought to change other people's perceptions by spending more time with male friends while keeping female friends at arm's length.

Similarly, Zhao Xiang, who works in online education, was mocked in middle school for his "pretty" appearance and quiet voice. Now, the 26-year-old's appearance and mannerisms do not prompt adverse comments from colleagues or younger people. "The world should be diverse," he said.

Both men realize that while middle and high school students often single out those they perceive to be different, people become more accepting as they grow older.

Zhao is happy with who he is. He said he is always respectful to other people and hopes they will reciprocate.

"A person's character shouldn't always be associated with just one gender," he said.

According to Luo, the export industry worker, his family has never forced him to conform to other people's ideas of masculinity. "They joke about my 'girl-like' behavior, but in a good-hearted way. Above all, they love me," he said.