How to judge others (and yourself) less

2. See for the first time

I've had mixed relationships with my sisters over the years. We can fight and go for long stretches without talking, instead of getting caught up in a mess of blame, anger about the past and plain old stubbornness. The more I talk and write about it, the more other people tell me the same thing happens in their families. I have a former co-worker who hasn't spoken to his twin brother for years over a business they began together then went awry.

When you honor your difficult personal experiences and take the time to really examine your judgment (s), you can see the person involved differently. You lose the lens of fear and attack. "The experience of seeing someone for the first time (without the stories/hate/resentment you've placed upon them) is one of deep relief," Bernstein says. If you removed the negative ideas about someone in your life－in my case, my sisters－h(huán)ow might it affect your emotional well-being?

I, for one, experience calm and peace and even joy. And that sure feels good.

3. Cut the cord

This is where meditation works magic. You can cut the cord of judgment without uttering a word to the person you're judging.

Can you sit quietly in a room and mentally picture the person that you hold judgment toward? Can you recall a happy time you experienced together? Can you use this to allow yourself to send them more kind, peaceful and loving thoughts?

That's all you need to do. You can work on releasing your judgment and let the rest unfold as it will.

The power of forgiveness－of yourself and others－is critical in managing the judgments that we all experience. Ironically, when we accept and stop hiding from our judgment, it dissolves far more quickly.